OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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