i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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