Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
