the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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