Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
