NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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