Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
