She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
