you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize