I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
