you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
