A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
