He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
