the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
