Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
