Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
