Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
