i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
