i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
