i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
