Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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