dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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