I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
