i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
