so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
