Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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