I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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