Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
