i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
