i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
