I cannot find my penis.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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