if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Apparently you make a good broom.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
