Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
