Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
