I'm jealous of your bromance
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize