remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
