Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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