So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
