I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
My dick has a subreddit
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
