Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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