Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
