i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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