Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
