Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
