if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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