Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
