It's like God shit irony all over that family
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Even my vagina gasped.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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