i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
