Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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