my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
My cat gives me a boner
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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