i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
