I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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