Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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