I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
