I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
