im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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