where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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