He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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